Shifting worlds
My life is about to change. Hugely. Massively. Mount Everest-ly.
I just had an interview in southern Indiana. The managing editor of a community newspaper called me a while ago and scheduled a phone interview for the very next day. At the end of that interview, he invited me down to Indiana to interview in person, run a test story and take a style and grammar quiz. I did exactly that yesterday after driving down Thursday and crashing in a hotel paid for by the paper. Not 30 minutes back onto the road for the seven hour drive home, my cell phone rang.
They offered me the job.
I will soon be the newest staff writer for the six-day daily newspaper in southern Indiana. I’ll be covering the county beat, but also acting as a general assignment reporter. And they need me as soon as possible.
Commence the freaking out.
I have no idea how to do this. This is such an incredibly huge shift in my life. I’ve never rented an apartment, much less one seven hours away in another state. And I have to move my entire life in a matter of a few weeks. Though I’ve done nothing but search for a real job since graduating, I’ve had no time to plan. I feel like my life suddenly turned into a giant game of KerPlunk. I shifted one too many sticks and the marbles are all crashing down at once. I’m cycling between thrilled and happy, tense and overwhelmed on a ridiculous, gut-wrenching ride. By the way, I hate roller-coasters.
Thank God for my steady-as-a-rock-thinks-of-everything mom. She’s simultaneously (and regularly) calming me down and making lists. We’re taking inventory and planning to bring a load of furniture, kitchen stuff and everything else I don’t need here down to Indiana to stash in a storage locker until I have an apartment. We’re heading back down next weekend to do some serious apartment hunting, hopefully getting me approved and signing on the dotted line while we’re there.
My dad and I were crunching numbers this morning. I won’t be making a whole lot of money, but I’ll be able to live comfortably. It’ll be even better when my fiance joins me and adds his income to the pot, relieving me of half the rent, utilities and food. But he won’t be moving in with me until he can find a job in the same area. I’m hoping and praying that it won’t take long as I want him with me as soon as it’s possible. The first little while will be hard enough living entirely by myself in a completely unfamiliar area with no local friends and being baptized by fire in a new job.
So I’m excited but terrified, thrilled but thinking, “Oh my God what have I done?!” Does everyone in my situation feel this way?
On the hook
I should be hearing from a very internationally well-known company very soon about a job. I’ve had two interviews and both went really well, and I want the job so much it has entered into my dreams a couple of times.
Enter fishing analogy.
I hate being on the hook, waiting to either be caught or released. It’s jangled all of my nerves to the point where I’m getting butterflies when the phone rings. But I guess the analogy is a little backwards because I want to be caught and put in a tank with the other fish. In the tank, I’ll be taken care of — fed regularly, able to get medicine for sickness and free from predators. Back in the lake would mean fighting it out again, or still, depending on which way you look at it. More freedom, true, but I’d rather have the security.
Some say that the waiting and anticipation is the best part. Well, for Christmas absolutely. This kind of waiting is on the flip side of it. The waiting and anticipation is killing me, slowly but surely, and probably more so because I want this job so much more than I’ve wanted anything else I’ve gone after simply because it pushes my buttons more than anything else has. The company is also like the #1 place to work with the most incredible benefits and perks EVER, which only sweetens the deal. It sucks being on hold while someone else makes a decision about you that has the possibility to affect your future so much.
I haven’t yet resorted to pacing, but that is still entirely possible. I’d go run on the treadmill to get rid of some energy, but I don’t want to be all huffy and out of breath if they call. My cell phone and the house phone are with me everywhere I go. I’m not getting in the shower because I don’t want to miss a call, so thank the lord I took one in the evening yesterday because I was freezing and wanted to warm up. God works in mysterious ways.
But I hope that if I get thrown back into the lake, I’ll still be okay. I know there’s probably hundreds of people fighting for this job, some of which I know have got to be far more qualified than I am. I’ve known that all along. It will suck if that happens, but I don’t think I’ll be devastated.
So here’s to hoping and to keeping my fingers (and toes, arms, legs, eyes and hair) crossed. With my body so contorted, I might just find myself too uncomfortable to pace.
Restless thoughts
I hate it when I know I should be sleeping but I can’t seem to turn my brain off. My eyes are tired and heavy, but I can’t seem to sleep. So here’s the list of what’s on my mind in the hopes that getting it out will allow me some peace.
1. I had a phone interview today. I think it went okay but I can’t help but go over my answers in my head, what little I can remember of them. I keep thinking of things I should have said or phrased differently. Somehow during interviews, I always feel like I’m pulling stuff out of thin air, no matter how well prepared I am and how much I know the information I need to give. I keep finding reasons why I may not be what they’re looking for and it’s killing me slowly. Being tired doesn’t seem to be helping the pessimism.
2. Soon I will be seeing very little of my fiance. He’s taking on a part-time job in addition to his full-time one. This second job will certainly give him some valuable experience as well as the chance to learn brand new things that can help him land a better job. The shop owner actually wants to teach someone the ropes and provide learning opportunities. That’s rare. But with both jobs it means all he’ll have time for otherwise is sleep. I want him to take the job and get some valuable experience and learn some new skills, but I’m worried about how I will handle it. I’ll certainly do everything I can not to make it harder but my track record is against me on this one.
3. I’m out of new books to read, but I’m reluctant to go to the library. I have no idea why I don’t go. I never know what to pick up or what I might enjoy reading. I end up looking for all the familiar names and titles instead of picking something totally new. I think I’m going to bite the bullet this week though, because not having anything to read sucks. If you have any suggestions, please do let me know.
4. Speaking of books, I wish I could buy more for my own library. The problem is that books are expensive and then you have to find somewhere to put them and move them with you when you leave home. I LOVE the smell of new books and absolutely love reading a new one that is actually mine and hasn’t been dog-eared or stamped on.
5. I want to take a couple more classes that might help me in my career. I want to take a photography course as well as one in Photoshop. Among my other classes I would like would be design programs (InDesign mainly), HTML and web stuff in general in addition to a possible course in advertising or marketing. Problem is that I don’t want to register and start a class and then have to move for a job. The plan thus far is to wait for the job then fit in the classes if I can. It sounds nearly impossible.
6. The pillows on my bed are terrible. I’m going to have to find some new ones in the closet downstairs. You can bend them in half and they stay folded — definitely a sign they need to be replaced.
7. I miss the lake… still. Wouldn’t the world be a much better place if everyone felt like they were on vacation the entire time? People would be so much nicer and generally happier. The area we were staying in a week ago is so beautiful and full of life. I had something to do pretty much every day and what I had to do was fun. There were more things I wanted to do but we didn’t have time to do everything. Another week would have been so incredibly wonderful, especially with the whole family there.
8. I feel like I should be keeping a journal or something. But I’ve tried several times to start the whole journaling thing and I never can seem to keep up with it. It eventually seems to just drop off of my list and get completely forgotten about because I don’t usually have much to write about. But I’m always attracted to journals themselves and have several blank ones I’ve bought because I love the whole idea of journaling. There’s something about the idea of writing down your life in a nice leather-bound journal that seems like the best thing in the world — even if I’ve never been able to do it successfully.
Now I guess it’s time to try and get some sleep… again. Hopefully this little blogging babble will have paid off and my brain will let me rest.
Holy exciting news!
I got a phone call this morning from the executive editor of The Flint Journal. He was calling to schedule an interview with me for a full-time reporter position. This is my first professional interview and I’m excited at the possibility of kicking off my career. I could end up working for the Journal, the Bay City Times or the Saginaw News. The interview itself is in Saginaw, which is about two hours or so away but I’m gladly driving to take my shot.
I’m going to do some studying and research tomorrow to help me feel more confident and relaxed as well as informed. It may also give me a very tiny edge over other possible candidates. In this day and age, I’m battling people with far more experience as the industry has been cutting back so much. I just have to trust in my own capabilities and go all in, win or lose. I think I’m a strong contender for this position, but if someone else proves stronger then I will have gained some valuable interviewing experience and at least know that they were interested and may not be totally out of the running for future positions.
I was so thrilled to be considered for the job. Even though it is entry level and doesn’t pay much, I completely expected that. I still get overtime, which I would imagine reporters are at least occasionally if not frequently getting, along with good benefits and a 401K matching program. They also provide reimbursement for expenses, as usual, and also any technology that may have to come my way in order to do the job. It sounds like a great deal overall and I still wouldn’t be too far from home.
My sister and I went shopping after the call came in. I just discovered that the suit I’ve had for a couple of years no longer fit the bill – as in is now too tight across the chest and back. Does anyone else loathe the process of trying to find clothes that fit well and don’t run up the credit card balance? Sometimes I swear it’s nearly impossible. I ended up finding something that looked good and wasn’t too incredibly expensive, much to my relief. For some reason I just never thought about trying on my old suit before that phone call. Silly me.
Can you tell I’m excited?
