Shifting worlds
My life is about to change. Hugely. Massively. Mount Everest-ly.
I just had an interview in southern Indiana. The managing editor of a community newspaper called me a while ago and scheduled a phone interview for the very next day. At the end of that interview, he invited me down to Indiana to interview in person, run a test story and take a style and grammar quiz. I did exactly that yesterday after driving down Thursday and crashing in a hotel paid for by the paper. Not 30 minutes back onto the road for the seven hour drive home, my cell phone rang.
They offered me the job.
I will soon be the newest staff writer for the six-day daily newspaper in southern Indiana. I’ll be covering the county beat, but also acting as a general assignment reporter. And they need me as soon as possible.
Commence the freaking out.
I have no idea how to do this. This is such an incredibly huge shift in my life. I’ve never rented an apartment, much less one seven hours away in another state. And I have to move my entire life in a matter of a few weeks. Though I’ve done nothing but search for a real job since graduating, I’ve had no time to plan. I feel like my life suddenly turned into a giant game of KerPlunk. I shifted one too many sticks and the marbles are all crashing down at once. I’m cycling between thrilled and happy, tense and overwhelmed on a ridiculous, gut-wrenching ride. By the way, I hate roller-coasters.
Thank God for my steady-as-a-rock-thinks-of-everything mom. She’s simultaneously (and regularly) calming me down and making lists. We’re taking inventory and planning to bring a load of furniture, kitchen stuff and everything else I don’t need here down to Indiana to stash in a storage locker until I have an apartment. We’re heading back down next weekend to do some serious apartment hunting, hopefully getting me approved and signing on the dotted line while we’re there.
My dad and I were crunching numbers this morning. I won’t be making a whole lot of money, but I’ll be able to live comfortably. It’ll be even better when my fiance joins me and adds his income to the pot, relieving me of half the rent, utilities and food. But he won’t be moving in with me until he can find a job in the same area. I’m hoping and praying that it won’t take long as I want him with me as soon as it’s possible. The first little while will be hard enough living entirely by myself in a completely unfamiliar area with no local friends and being baptized by fire in a new job.
So I’m excited but terrified, thrilled but thinking, “Oh my God what have I done?!” Does everyone in my situation feel this way?
Little life lessons
I’ve been thinking about some of the lessons I learned as a kid. I think knowing that I’m about to set out on my own and make a huge life change soon have kind of brought about this little bit of nostalgia. So I thought I would share some of the things I’ve learned over the years.
- Whatever you do, don’t let go of the leash when the dog tries to run. But for heaven’s sake, do let go when she’s dragging you across the yard on your stomach.
- Never experiment with centripetal force with your long-handled Easter basket while standing underneath the living room ceiling fan.
- Writing letters to Santa Claus every year admitting you were bad will usually make him forgive you and you’ll get presents anyway.
- When you think you’re going to throw up, don’t wait to get to the bathroom until you’re sure. Just go!
- The Tooth Fairy can find you anywhere, even on vacation. She’s sneaky, too. If she got delayed overnight, she can whip in while you’re eating your morning cereal. And no, she won’t put a tooth on a gold chain for you.
- Just because you were an unexpected baby doesn’t mean Mom and Dad didn’t want you.
- Don’t leave eggs boiling on the stove while you go clean the pool cover. You will find they have exploded all over the kitchen, the pan is in jeopardy of melting and destroying the stove and the terrorized dog is cowering in a corner when you return.
- Cottage cheese + potato chips = the best snack in the world.
- Covering up Mickey Mouse on your little swimsuit with your hands doesn’t mean he won’t get wet.
- Mom knows everything. Dad knows a lot, but will send you to Mom anyway when he’s not sure.
- Fess up immediately when you break something. It will only be worse if your parents find it themselves.
- Don’t hit your sister, even if she deserves it. Eventually, she will learn to hit back. It hurts.
- Just make your bed when Mom tells you to. Otherwise you’ll be stuck in your room all day until it’s done.
- Running laps around the house in the rain is actually quite entertaining. But after a certain age, you have to wear more than just your underwear.
- Calling 911 super fast then immediately hanging up doesn’t mean they didn’t get the call. They’re going to call you back and you’ll have some serious explaining to do when the woman on the other end starts lecturing you.
- Don’t threaten to run away. Dad will pack a bag for you and tell you to go ahead. That’s not a good feeling.
- Lying accomplishes nothing. You will be found out and everything will be much, much worse than it was in the first place.
- When all the lights suddenly go out and it’s pitch black, it doesn’t mean you’re blind. Your family will be laughing about it for the rest of your life.
- Patience always wins, even with a smart mouse. You’ll get him in the end and then you can do your victory chant and dance.
- No matter how much they might embarrass or tease you, your family loves you. You’ll be better for all the suffering anyway.
Growing pains
I’ve been working on my senior thesis project over the last few days which involves researching ways to increase newspaper readership in the age of electronic media. Then it hit me today while writing about the introduction of the World Wide Web.
I’m GRADUATING.
In a little over a month I’m going to be set free upon the world and left to my own devices. I won’t lie – that thought honestly scares me.
When did the world get so big? That kid song lied. This so totally isn’t a small world. It’s huge and open and intimidating. My place has always been at home with my family and friends or at school studying. And now I have to step out of that world and into a career. But before I’m able to start that career, I have to tread that shaky bridge between the small world I’ve known my whole life and the next world that I’ve never been introduced to. I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m only 22 for crying out loud.
But I know my journalism field. I know how to work within it quite effectively. I know that I really do know my stuff. I’m graduating with high honors for heaven’s sake. So why wouldn’t I be able to fit into the workforce? There’s really no reason why I shouldn’t. It’s just a lot unfamiliar territory and anyone could be scared of that, right?
The current economy is also creating chaos with my ability to cope with the upcoming freedom. Journalism is already one of the lowest paying fields right out of the starting gates. And because of electronic media, employers are cutting back right and left. Will I be able to get a job? If so, will I be able to keep that job? Am I going to be able to get married, get a dog and eventually have kids? What the hell am I going to do if I can’t? There’s all these unanswered questions circling around my brain and no one seems to be able to provide even half-assed answers.
I miss the days when it was simpler. I never realized how good I had it coming home from only a half day of kindergarten to a peanut butter and jelly lunch waiting for me made with love from mom. We would watch Little House on the Prairie together before my sisters got home and I’d have mom all to myself. I didn’t have to worry about money or having a roof over my head and clothes on my back. I didn’t have to worry about what’s for dinner or when I had to go to work. All I concerned myself with was being sure to ask everyone in my morning class if they would be my friend and making sure that the afternoon student who sat at my desk didn’t touch my stuff.
I don’t want to move out of Michigan and away from my family, but that’s a very real possibility. My parents have been my rock through everything and it’s downright petrifying to think that I might not have them easily accessible face-to-face. They were there when I got my first B+ and calmed me down when I was shocked and upset. They were there when I was being threatened by a crazy ex-boyfriend in the seventh grade. They were there for all the miseries and frustrations of high school and my first job. They got me to college and let me abuse their washing machine and raid the pantry at home. And my mom still turned on my heated mattress pad this winter when she knew I was coming home late from work to a freezing-cold house.
I guess the whole idea and everything that goes into it is overwhelming. Let’s face it – I’m overwhelmed by reality.
